Equestrian Portrait of Cornelis and Michiel Pompe van Meerdervoort through Their Tutor and Coachman, byAelbert Cuyp, c.1652–53. The Metropolitan Museum of Art,The Friedsam Collection, Bequest of Michael Friedsam, 1931.

You are watching: A man who never loves gives no hostage to fortune meaning

He that hath wife and also children hath provided hostperiods to fortune, for they are impediments to good enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.—Francis Bacon

Councilor to Queen Elizabeth, lord chancellor to King James I, believed to be the wisest guy in Shakespeare’s England, Sir Francis overlooked the threat on the other side of the exchange. His advice is sound, yet the chances of acting on it unobtainable to the impediments—to wife and youngsters held hophase to the fortune of having actually been born or married to a villain, a bankrupt, or a fool. The unalso circulation of the sentiment favored the interemainder of the state, a policy that Lord Bacon fondly embraced. He was an attentive courtier expert at the seeking of grace and privilege from the perfumed hand of majesty, deft at the removals of unpleasing fact, and also via a handsome revolve of phrase he circumvented the awkward fact that household is a game of opportunity. 

A throw of the dice, occasionally lucky, as regularly not, the question of nurture as opposed to nature too and truly answered by an astrological sign or a poisoned fig as by a storm at sea, a DNA sequence, or a marriage to the king of France. Families grow as execute the flowers and also the weeds, of their own accord and as they will. Sometimes they lay waste to empires; periodically they attain the dignity of a dress label, yet always they furnish a culture with its living tissue and also its intimations of immortality, imcomponent to the individual a feeling of self if not a criminal record or a noble name.

Which is as near to a ethical as is most likely to be attracted from the text and also illustration gathered in this issue of Lapham’s Quarterly. The topic is better addressed through memoir and also biography than with a manifesto or a sermon. But during the forthcoming election year, we can expect repetitive reference to “family members values” in the campaign speeches giving safe go back to the actual America dvery own residence in a painting by Norguy Rockwell, and so it’s worth at least the danger of a guess as to what the words suppose. Which households, and what values? The Kennedys playing footsphere in McLean, Virginia? The Corleones contemplating a murder on Long Island? Joan Crawford analysis to her kids from A Day in Fairy Land ?

Dad’s Coming, by Winsluggish Homer, 1873. Boston Public Library, Publish Department, Massachusetts.

The familiar phrase often tends to find me at a loss because the family members worths that I require to be my own are four hundred years behind the times, more in line through those espoused by Lord Bacon than via those that sustain the ratings of tv situation comedy. I was born into a family acquired from ancestors that had actually settled in New England in the 1630s, brought up listening to stories told around the risings and reversals of its fortunes through the passing of the generations—of honor won at Bunker Hill and also Saratoga, reputation lost in the War of 1812; of ship captains in the early China profession, some of whom died safe and wealthy at home in Maine, others reported absent at sea somewright here west of Hawaii and also eastern of Borneo. The great-grandpa for whom I was called in 1935 had been a founder of what came to be the Texas Oil Company kind of, which gave him with a keep of riches that his eldest son, a gambler and a sportsguy, managed to utterly damage. During my grandfather’s term as mayor of San Francisco in the 1940s, assorted members of the extended family (never-before-checked out in-legislations, near and distant cousins) gathered for Christmas at his residence on Jackkid Street to play cards and also talk around City Hall politics and the war. Instead of saying grace, my grandpa was offered to declaiming “The Wreck of the Hesperus” or “The Shooting of Dan McGrew”; the younger children were supposed to recognize, and also if dubbed upon to stand also on their chairs and also repoint out, the verses of Rudyard Kipling or Lewis Carroll. Runs of negative luck were to be supposed, as it wregarding be expected that the Walrus and also the Carpenter would certainly dine on oysters, or that at least among the grandyoungsters would certainly topple challenge down right into the fruit bowl or the soup. To my restricted expertise at the age of ten, family members was ssuggest the means things were, all existing hostages to fortune, value measured out in the uneven circulation of power rather than in a scale of justice or by the levels of sentiment.

I was fifteenager prior to I observed any kind of create of television, twenty by the moment I was correctly introduced to the nuclear Amerideserve to household happily in residence on network television—Mom and Dad, both white and presumably Protestant, content in their love for one another, his steadiness of heart and mind matched by her comforting spirit and also experienced regulating of the family members that was clean, well-lit, above all nice; 2 children, both adorable and also neither of them well-known to the police; no crippling condition or babsence world almost everywhere in sight; nobody talking about money. 

I’d never before met such human being, didn’t understand the community, yet supposedly it is their exemplary innocence and also cdamage that the saviors of the republic these days have actually in mind once they trace the reason of many of our sorrows back to the deterioration of the once-upon-a-time triple-A-rated Amerihave the right to family values. The voices of alarm attract upon a surplus of statistics proving the theorem of national decline—approximately fifty percent of all first marriperiods finishing in divorce, 40 percent of America’s children being born to unwed mothers, the high-college dropout rate in major U.S. cities standing at nearly 50 percent, 16.4 million youngsters under the age of eighteenager condemned to live in abject poverty.

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The numbers have actually adjusted over the distance of the last sixty years, as have actually the situation researches and the emotional anecdotes, however no matter what the trouble in the forefront of the news—the 1960s sex-related revolution, the battle in Vietnam, the feminist and civil-legal rights movements, the 1980s society war, the steady loss of Christian conscience, villainy in Washington—the keepers of the nation’s conscience somejust how control to shift the fault from the game in which all existing uncover themselves held hostage to the flawed behavior of the impediments—on the part of spoiled youngsters, tie-dyed and also degenerate; on the component of spendthrift wives shirking wifely duties; on the component of the country’s political and also corporate emperors giving no thmust posterity, content to offer out the public great for a mess of personal pottage. The economic climate stumbles right into recession, the colleges degeneration, the money is debased, the middle class implodes, the hope of the future is foreclosed, and also why, pray tell, is that? Not sufficient family members worths left in the minds of the cost-free and the hearts of the brave.


The message doesn’t lack for historical antecedent. I listen to President Obama in his weekly deal with preach the prominence of being a parent, or to Rick Santorum at an Iowa dinner say, “We can’t have limited federal government without strong households,” and also I’m come aacquire to a Romale forum in the late initially century bc to hear the emperor Augustus remind the available young bachelors in the crowd of their marital duties to the state. How was Rome to sustain its greatness unmuch less it offered birth to successive generations of manly citizens, hence making its mortality immortal? And where were those successive generations to be discovered if the city’s young and unmarried optimates squandered “all their virile power on grsimple servant girls and also nasty Asiatic-Greek prostitutes”? Or, also more “loathsome,” if they lived a life of sexual debauch that caused no fruitful gain of enterpincrease, either of virtue or of mischief? Young men “unwilling to perform any kind of of their organic social duties” the emperor likens to “beasts” and also “brigands,” and also as recounted by the poet Robert Graves, the speech might serve as a Tea Party blog post denouncing gay marriage or as an discussion for sealing the nation’s boundaries against any type of immigration, legal or illegal, on the grounds that 44 percent of youngsters under eighteen belengthy to a minority, forespreading within another thirty or forty years the spectacle of an America no longer recognizable in Normale Rockwell’s family paints.