Directing and writing credits:"New and Improved Lorelai" is written and directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino, who is building a truly insane cast for the fourth season of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel."

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Okay, but who is this Pomeranian?!

Most batshit crazy outfit:Rory"s offensive bow cardigan is back to haunt me. If a male novelist were crafting a young, female librarian character whose only sexual thrill comes from reading a book, she would be dressed like this.

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"As she sat at the front desk, thumbing through a copy of Jane Austen"s "Emma," Christof noticed that she dressed herself poorly on purpose. Over the years, this beautiful girl found ways to shirk her suitors in favor of more alone time spent reading. With her stunning looks, embracing ugly was the easiest way for her to divert attention from her physical attributes. Why else would she show up to work with her shiny chestnut hair swept into a rumpled low ponytail. Who could explain the light pink oxford buttoned all the way to the top under a bow cardigan that somehow managed to be both childish and matronly at the same time? The death knell of her youthful sexuality came in the form of a heavy gray godet skirt that left everything to the imagination. He wondered if a trip to Prada could lure her away from this straitlaced aesthetic."

In this excerpt, Christof is of course a sexy older male professor who frequently pops into the library and takes an interest in our fake protagonist"s virginal vulnerability. Using "50 Shades of Grey" and "Pretty Woman" as his roadmap, he teaches her how to fuck and dress. Anyway, the tl;dr is that I detest this outfit.

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"It"s coming off a little more Mennonite than I had hoped.

Most irritating Rory or Lorelai moment:If you want proof that Lorelai is the queen of Stars Hollow, just observe the way she brazenly tells a group of bikers to "shoo" so that she and Luke can use the gazebo. Part of me respects this power move, the other part wants to punch her in the trachea for acting like an entitled twat.

I also hate when Rory wakes up to coffee, fabric samples, and a dope breakfast spread and asks Emily, "When did you have time to do all this?" Emily cheerily responds back, "Oh! It"s amazing what you can get done before eight thirty in the morning," as if she didn"t just spend five minutes barking instructions at her servants* and calling it a damn day.

* Remember that according to Logan, it"s totally chill to refer to the help as servants because technically, they"re hired and paid to serve.

Number of times Rory or Lorelai treat their bff like shit:Lane isn"t in this episode, but Paris shows up at the pool house to borrow an outfit from Rory. She isn"t exactly treated like shit, but Rory neglects to tell her what actually precipitated this sudden decision to take time off. Rory"s evasiveness is a shame because I think Paris would have given her a delightful tough love pep talk.

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I love when she storms out scowling and just says "YOU" when she spots Logan.

Sookie is MIA. I was going to make yet another joke about a lovemaking vegetable dildo accident causing her absence, but I imagine that Martha Janice Lori Ethan Rupert Glenda Carson Daisy Danny Belleville is keeping her and Jackson busy. My husband notes that Jackson is probably hard at work crafting a zucchini-based poultice for Sookie"s v to b tear.

Best literary or pop culture references:There are eight (!!!) references to Zima, which makes me wonder if this was product placement. I have to assume that Zima wouldn"t have paid to reinforce the marketing failure of trying to sell "chick beer" to the masses, but the number of mentions make me think that this was maybe around the time when they started to actually focus specifically on the young female demographic. The Zima people could easily select the clip of Lorelai squealing, "He"s got Zima in the back! He"s got Zima in the back!" and call it a damn day. Or better yet, "We should drink Zima and have sex every night."

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That post-Zima sex haze