I recognize that I need to foroffer you, but i have the right to not fucking forgain. The harder i attempt, the worse it gets. So i guess right here this goes. I could go on about all the point you "told me" and "promised me" but why bvarious other, you should recognize, afterall you sassist them. But, despite all the shit we went through, when we uncovered out I was pregnant, which came as no surpincrease seeing as you did nothing to prevent it, why didn"t that mame you realize you needed to grow up? I understand also we were babies ourself, 15 years old wasn"t the age i viewed myself pregnant. But it was all so genuine and also happening. I recognize we weren"t together, and also that was okay, it was mutual. But reguardmuch less of all the shit we went with, why leave her? Not her as in me, however her as in your daughter. The daughter that would certainly have actually loved you and also checked out that you did no wrong in her tiny bit eyes. That wouldv"e slept on your chest and also smiled earlier at you as she woke up. A tiny innocent life, that would certainly have actually mumbled the words daddy and completed your whole people. You gave every one of that up. Not only that, yet tou offered it up before it could also happen. All bereason what? You didn"t desire the responsibility? You didn"t desire to quote "look at a baby that you didn"t even want" ? How selfish. It"s still a blur as to exactly how a humale might say the thkngs you"ve shelp to me, to one more humale being. Why did you indicate abortion? What around me and my opinion? That didn"t matter? All bereason you wanted to play football? Or save your own ass? Why did i need to pay for it all? Those are just some of the points I"ll never understand. Aside from that, even now 2 years later. You dont also sit and also wonder what life would certainly have been favor had you made the appropriate decision? I carry out. I think about her all the time. I wonder if she"d look prefer you more or me more. I think she"d have your lips and also eyes and my nose. Definatley your curly hair once you were a baby lol. She"d have actually the greatest the majority of happiest smile, it"d be so transmittable. She"d have that perfect medium skin tone, darker than mine however lighter that yours. I wonder if she"d say mommy or daddy first. Or if she"d be a small brat lol. She"d be spoiled for certain. I"d organize her once she cried and wouldnt put her dvery own till i kbrand-new she felt better, bereason if she was sad, i would be as well. Her little bit laugh would calm me dvery own on my worst days. She"d remind me so a lot of you though. I"d look at her and also by looking at her priceless, innocent challenge, i"d be reassured that you weren"t completely horrible because the one great point you did in life would certainly be giving me her. I recognize deep down she"d make you feel all those points as well. We might have loved her together and delighted in having created something to make us proud in the long run and steer in the ideal direction. She wouldve been the calm of our storm. When she took her first steps, it would scare me to death, but i"d sit tright here in awe, bereason i was watching her thrive, and she might only proceed to thrive stronger from that point. And as soon as she lastly sassist her first words, i would bust into tears because her voce would certainly be simply as beautiful as her. I would certainly just fill her head with positive points around the human being and around you. I"d never before talk you dvery own to her. She deserved to have her own opinion of you. But currently, namong these things will ever before happen. But i don"t just see negative in our situation. No issue just how a lot it harms. Now she gets to watch me thrive, she gets to watch me take my first procedures into adulthood. She gets to watch me make mistakes and then steer me in the appropriate direction. Somejust how i constantly feel her via me. Sounds cliché but, its true. When im upset, it feels prefer she"s best below. Even currently as i write this. So yes, i have an significant amout of negative feelings towords you, thats apparent. But i"d never been able to come out of the entirety i was in if it wasnt for her, and I wouldnt have her if it werent for you. But i hope you sit to yourself and think, was it worth it? I deserve to only hope shes watching over you and leading you in the right direction.
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Because i recognize her beautiful soul might also have an inpact on the worst perchild.