Previously, in “Convoy”: Rubber Duck, leader of the mighty convoy, had actually brought himself and his compatriots to the Atlantic shore of New Jersey, after crashing with the toll gateways at ninety-eight miles per hour. Pig Pen — a Jimmy haulin’ hogs — was bringin’ up the rear, which was currently close to Omaha, Nebraska. And the self-destruction jockey’s luck was holding, as he and his cargo were bein’ safeguarded by a chartreuse micra-bus full a’ Friends a’ Jesus.

Now, in an effort to elude the still-persuing Smosecrets, the Duck proposes a untested, possibly terrible plan: to drive throughout the Atlantic Ocean!

Breaker, one-nine, this here’s the Duck aacquire. You gained a copy on me Pig Pen, c’mon? Ah, negatory, Pig Pen, tbelow ain’t no way out ’cept for that one Atlantic Ocean. Now listen, drop them hogs off in Omaha and gain over here in a short, ’reason it certainly looks like we gained us a difficulty.

*
Bears to the left; bears to the best We didn’t have no location to go. They had actually us backed up clean to the shore, And them cab-over Petes don’t float. I states, “Pig Pen, I gained me a good principle. “Them Friends a’ Jesus gonna save us! “So praise the Lord and also Mister Ford, And follow that micra-bus, ten-four.”

Yo ho ho, and also a thousand also trucks Gonna take a bath through a Rubber Duck Yo ho ho, and also a lots a’ luck ’Round the civilization via the Rubber Ducky!

Yeah, we drove on the water favor diesel whales Sank about a hunnert-and-ten of ’em I claims, “Pig Pen, they just didn’t have no faith “They certainly gone ten-salso.” By the time we gained into that Piccadilly Town, ’Bout half of ’em was shed at sea I states, “Break one-nine for a ten-thirty-three” What we got was the cotton-pickin’ BBC

I say, Fabersham. Looks likes the Americans have acquired themselves an additional bloody Convoy.

Yo ho ho, and also a thousand also trucks Gonna take a bath via a Rubber Duck Yo ho ho, and a lots a’ luck ’Round the people with the Rubber Ducky!

Good heavens! Look at them all! Half of them are sinking in the Thames! Hello! Some of our truck chaps are assisting them. Good present, actually. Oh, well, ten-four and all that rubbish.

Well, we crossed that Channel favor snakes on glass And stormed the beach about dawn I claims, “Grab your shifters and also punch 13 “We all goin’ truckin’ on the Autobahn. “Now, Pig Pen, this here’s the ultimate slab “’Causage tright here goes a Mercedes truck.” He claims, “Break one-three for the Strudel Machine “Ya just blew the doors off’n the Duck. How ’bout it?”

Oh, zehn-vier, Rubber Duck. Ve are receiving you vall-to-vall, but the schpeed limit on za Autobahn is triple-nickels. You take a trip as well schlow, Rubber Duck. We gonna watch you about. We gone. Wiedersehen.

Well, we quit for a coffee in West Berlin Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is The British had actually hundred-mile tea dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I claims, “Pig Pen, from here on it’s wall-to-wall bears.” Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, Says, “Bash the Wall; we gonna see.” Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Well, them substantial red bears must’a been in the bush Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is ’Causage we didn’t view a one all day Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, So we raked up the leaves and we shook out the tree Dumb, dumb, dumb. This is ’Til they lastly had something to say Dumb, dumb, dumb. You got it…

Comrade Duck: you have actually been given till daybreak in Murmansk to get your cotton-pickin’ trucks out of the U. S. S. of R. You will copy!

Well, we shot them rigs with salt-mine city Dumb, dumb With a hammer and a sickle on down Dumb, dumb Then we hit the fan with the Sea of Japan Dumb, dumb Tooled into Transistor Tvery own Dumb, dumb I states, “Pig Pen, this here have to be the location, Dumb, dumb “’Causage everybody’s eatin’ through sticks.” Dumb, dumb He claims, “Ten-Four, this here is CB land also Dumb, dumb “’Cause my channel knob just went crick.” Dumb, dumb

Ah so, Lubba Duck. You have actually a nice day today, betta day tomollow. We capture you on frip-frop. This one Kamikaze Ozzie; we gone. Sayonara.

Yo ho ho, and a thousand also trucks Gonna take a bath through a Lubba Duck Yo ho ho, and also a rots a’ ruck ’Round the civilization through a Lubba Ducky!

*
Ah, ten-four, Pig Pen, what’s your twenty? Australia? Mercy sakes, ain’t nothin’ dvery own tright here but Tasmanian devils and them Q-alla bears. What’s that? No double-nickel limit? We gonna be tbelow in a short, Pig Pen. This here’s the Rubber Duck, ten-ten and also doin’ it to it favor Pruitt used’ta do it to it. We gone. ’Bye-’bye.
*

Historical notes: In 1974, throughout the first so-dubbed “Oil Crisis”, the Federal Government lowered the maximum speed limit on Interstate Highmethods to 55 miles per hour (“double-nickel”). “Pruitt” is Sonny Pruitt, the character played by actor Claude Akins in the 1974-75 NBC tv series Movin’ On, which, coincidentally, was around truckers.

“Q-alla bears” are really “koala bears”. “Zehn-vier” is German for “ten-four”.


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