My whole literary aesthetic revolves roughly exactly how fucked up life is. The results of our actions leads to some of the biggest concerns we ask ourselves, and also they’re unanswerable. Day by day I do the unintentional thing any type of of us deserve to perform and that is to feel. No one asked for it! If I didn’t feel, fuck it, if WE didn’t feel and rather tried to follow a route of self righteousness and also not care, would any kind of of us be so hurt by just how difficult this totality thing deserve to be? This might seem pretentious yet we all need a means to vent. Whether that’s via words, drinking, fucking, music or anything to take the edge off. I favor to mix it all, an ‘ESCAPE COCKTAIL‘ At what allude did it all go so wrong?




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That’s me, your beloved writer. Younger, blonder, oblivious and unall set for what was going to happen…

When we are younger, we’re brainwamelted by the principle of leading a life equivalent to a love story. You know what love stories have? “happy endings“. The story ends through a kiss and completely skips the bullshit that comes later. In a bittersweet turn, many kind of fucking transforms, every little thing that was once delicious smooth caramel in my mouth has actually come to be ash. I don’t understand exactly how I acquired right here (referring to my statement of unanswerable questions) but the clock is ticking and I have to figure it out, or carry out I? I don’t think I need to figure it out because achieving happiness is far harder than any type of of us intended. I expect those that do check out this, tbelow will certainly be a fair few to think I talk shit and I do! But it’s shit I genuinely mean.


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The years go on…

For those who have actually check out this much, possibly you’re willing to continue. People recognise no spectrum, only 2 says of being happy, or unhappy. I have actually felt overwhelmed, bliss and also joy but these feelings are ephemeral. To be happy means permanence. For many months, years even, I’ve wondered about the principle of happiness and also what feeling it really is. I’m not happy because our interpretation of happy (to me) is a trouble. It doesn’t last bereason we’re constantly riddled through counteracting feelings of anger, loneliness, tension and also this is the civilization that has been bestowed upon us. It’s a shame I’ve ended up this means, the sense of a questionable presence if happiness exists or not. Perhaps I’m constructed in a different way. I likewise question whether my smiles were genuine or a facade so no one asks if I’m “happy” because I don’t favor to answer so vaguely around something that is dictated to be so vital, the centre of us all. How deserve to we feel happiness through the state of the civilization we’re presently in? Truly look at it! People frequently ask if you’re okay but when was the last time someone asked “are you happy?” Are you happy?


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See more: Why Should You Remove Your Apron When Going To The Bathroom ?

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The photos throughout are a short timeline of my degradation. What they all have in prevalent is they show what we all think about to be (fucks sake) “HAPPINESS” however inside is what really matters, isn’t it? But no one wants to check out pictures of that, carry out they? So I’ve mislead human being to thinking otherwise despite many type of troubles that I’ve been presented via. I keep myself busy. Busy playing, busy composing, busy functioning for fuck all in return, virtually knocking me on my ass and this does not make me feel…you guessed it. It keeps me grounded, it keeps me interested. I’m creating this in the close to finish of 2018 and I hope to review ago in years to come and also think to myself just how life has vastly boosted however will that make me feel that feeling we all reportedly desperately need ? Who the fuck knows!? In this state of mind it’s a faded ambition however fuck me am I ambitious! I have many kind of reasons to feel the way I carry out, just as countless other human being perform and also this is not a cry for aid. This is my way of opening as much as you, my way of informing you the reality without the vague answers. This is a relatable piece…I hope. During this, I hope you come to the realisation, just as I have actually, of learning I’m unhappy and perform not problem. This realisation has never before made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m perfectly unhappy, and I’m okay via that…